How I created my "new normal" ✨
Jan 14, 2022
All this week, I've been feeling a heaviness that didn't start to lift until I named it.
Everyone in our home has had Omicron over the past two weeks. We are all finally negative and all cases were thankfully mild. Like many of us, all this comes after weeks of altered or cancelled holiday festivities and postponed gatherings with family and friends. Another year of not having events that used to be pillars of our family ties and seasonal traditions.
Despite the negative tests this week, there's an uneasiness that isn't leaving.
There's a collective heaviness that this environment is bringing us, and I think it's important that we name it and move through it together.
This is real. It's here.
We're coming up on two years of living in a global pandemic environment, and so many of us are carrying with us and learning to move through so much that never have before:
- a collective grief for the way things were,
- a collective grief for the people we've lost,
- the exhaustion of the frontline workers in our lives,
- a hope that things return to some kind of "normal",
- a re-shifting of priorities and expectations,
- big changes in our how we spend our time, especially in social spaces.
All while society's demands of work, productivity, and output seem unchanged.
And so, what do I ground in instead? And where to we put all this grief?
We are not working under the paradigm we used to, and I believe we need to take deeper ownership over our own experience - process, inner peace and time - in order to find our own place and freedom now.
We are in a period of rewiring of how we tend to our hearts and our lives in this new reality.
This pandemic has taught me lessons that have changed me forever. It has also sealed in me practices I had begun to explore before March of 2020. Here's how I'm building my own steadiness these days:
- Feeling My Feelings: This is number one. There is grief within our hearts and grief around us. The professional world keeps functioning as though nothing is happening, and there's a lot of pretending that everything is OK. And still, this grief is real. Sometimes you'll want to cry for no reason. Let it happen. Sometimes you'll be enraged for no reason. Punch that pillow and scream into it with everything you've got. Talk to trusted friends about how you're feeling and lean into the shared experience together. Find comfort in the release of those emotions, from being stuck and denied within you. Feelings are meant to be felt and there is so much repressed grief right now, coming out in toxic reactions to others and ourselves. It's OK to feel what you're feeling, and it's OK to ask for support when you need it.
- A Daily Practice: I've found that in times when everything around me feels so uncertain, having my own daily ritual keeps me rooted in something solid - that happens to be the truest thing - my intuition and my truth. Waking up 30 minutes earlier everyday to journal, meditate, and do some movement has become a lifeline in these times. It gives me something solid to look forward to, and regulates my energy and calls me into intention every single day. Find a simple ritual you can complete every day - even if it is simply quietly drinking your coffee in your backyard for 5 minutes. Let the ritual ground you and bring a new kind of flow to your days, no matter what's happening externally.
- Shut Out the Noise: This is a big one for me - especially lately. I invite you to think about the things that are stressing you out unnecessarily, and pulling you into spaces you do not need to be in. Maybe it's an old friendship, a commitment that no longer makes sense for you, having 24hr news on in the background. I've made decisions over the past year that have made my life more intentional, simpler, and more manageable. In 2022, I am planning to dramatically reduce my time on social media - giving me the space to do new things I love (like write in this space!). The amount of time that I spent on social media (when there were many other things I wanted to create), the black holes it would suck me into, the honest addiction that would pull me back in despite my attempts to use it moderately - led me to take some more drastic measures to stop it. Not to mention, feeling my energy being repeatedly exposed to whatever content these platforms would throw at me and carrying that all day was suddenly just not OK with me. My use of social media will be largely limited to sharing business updates much less frequently with the support of my Assistant, and trusting that my business will thrive as I answer the call for authenticity and alignment.
- Shifting Timelines and Expectations: So a project I wanted to launch in August ended up happening in November. And as it turns out, the world didn't end because of it. The things that seemed urgent, the pressure I would put on myself, the expectations, the timelines I would force on my work, and the demands on my team - have all taken a new light. This pandemic has forced me to re-evaluate what is really urgent, the pressure I layered on everything, and (for many of us) it has truly introduced grace into our experience. It's a shit show out there. And on any given day, we have no idea what someone might be going through. I keep asking myself - how can I be a little kinder and more understanding with myself and with everyone I come across? How can I open space for honest conversations about expectations with the people I collaborate with? When decisions need to be made, how can I bring grace and compassion to everyone involved? Can I take a few deep breaths more often throughout my day and root in the present moment? When it comes to releasing collective expectations, I've also very intentionally let go of the expectations I had of the world I had imagined I lived in, and let go of expectations especially around reactions to public health measures. My resistance to what I saw was my responsibility to deal with. It was an invitation to ground in a smaller circle and grieve the way I wished things were (see Feel your Feelings).
- Shifting Priorities: Prior to the pandemic, you could easily find me attending more than one social event in one night. I had gotten swept up in the rush of networking and feeling committed to other people. I had not realized how much energy it took out of me and how much it was slowly eating away at me. I have gotten clearer than ever on who and what is my priority and in giving those people and things my time, attention and intimate space. This realization had us booking tickets to London to see lifelong friends, and prioritizing screen-free family time after dinner. It had me prioritizing projects that brought me the most joy in my work, and finally launching a podcast last Fall. I've learned to get creative and intentional about how I offer my time, energy and support - centered on quality and intention outside of my main circles. It feels more powerful, rooted, and I am infinitely more energized and happy for it. What is really important to you? Make a list of three-five things, and practice saying no or not now to everything else for a while. Watch the spaciousness and freedom kick in.
- Lean Into Trust: This moment for me has been an invitation to lean ALL THE WAY into my magic and my power. That means releasing the idea that I have to control, micromanage and worry in order for things to work out. And while yes, that is my lifelong spiritual work (going back generations) to take on - I recognize this spiritual work has been turbo charged during this time. I have gone deeper than ever - with my shadow work, with. my rituals, with my energy work, with my intentions and manifestations. And it's not just me. Over the past two years, I've worked with so many high-powered, brilliant women who are coming to me not to build businesses or move up the corporate ladder, but to learn to LIVE differently - rooted in their feminine, their softness, in a power that comes from their intuitive wisdom with ease, trust, and support. There is too much madness happening all around us. The old ways of pushing, forcing, and controlling are glaringly outdated. We've been ignoring the true source of our power and light and it's time to trust ourselves deeper than we ever have before. Start by asking yourself "What if everything worked out amazingly?" "What if I chose not to worry about this, and see what happens if I simply evaluate and plan from a place of peace instead?"
The news is still scary. The fears sometimes still wake me up at night. And making these changes in my life has given me a foundation to move through it all, and find home and power within myself at a level I never had before.
I believe that these shifts naturally come when you make a decision to deepen your connection to yourself, and to be true to what you feel.
If you're interested in diving deeper into these subjects, this is the work I'm committed to sharing in my podcast, Living Intuition. You can listen in right here.
It's going to be up to each one of us to take on this challenge of designing a life rooted in our well being instead - for us and everyone around us.
Wishing you grace, trust, sisterhood and deep compassion as you move through it all.